Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

This sucks.

That is all.


Your team:

Team robot:

Brought to you by Team Bryll Atkintner and their sweet new "A day in the life" slideshow on Vital:

A Day in the Life: Bryn Atkinson & Jill Kintner — More Mountain Bike Photos

The hardest working couple in show business.

Monday, February 27, 2012


"Lent is a forty-day period before Easter. It begins on Ash Wednesday. We skip Sundays when we count the forty days, because Sundays commemorate the Resurrection. Lent begins on 22 February 2012 and ends on 7 April 2012, which is the day before Easter."

-Some website

"During Lent, many of the faithful commit to fasting or giving up certain types of luxury as a form of penitence.", aka the e-hobo that sits on the side of your screen with a cardboard sign begging for your money and making you feel guilty

Giving things up is a big part of Lent. As a form of fasting, it focuses the mind. Some people give up chocolate for Lent, other people give up fast food, and in the popular movie "40 days and 40 nights," Josh Hartnett's womanizing yet endearing character chooses to give up sex for Lent while serving on a battlefield in Somalia, only to find out that Ben Affleck is the father of his girlfriend's child, right before he flies the mission to bomb Tokyo. On the return trip from Tokyo, his friend played by Ben Affleck runs out of gas in his helicopter and dies in a tragic crash just miles from friendly territory in Mogadishu. Subsequently Josh Hartnett finds the woman of his dreams and has sex. True story.

It's a great movie.

Anyway, I had this great idea to stop hating on people on Team Robot for Lent. I was going to be positive for 40 days, and it was going to be ironic, uplifting and hilarious. I was going to change the background from black to pink and change all the images and the banner at the top to unicorns and rainbows and smiles. I was seriously going to do it. I had started saving pictures of hearts and rainbows and smiles, and I had decided that this would be a great opportunity to use Team Robot to encourage people and acknowledge the good in the world. The goal was to be nice for 40 days.

Then I saw this BLopes video, and that plan went right out the window.

X-Fusion and Brian Lopes Part 2 - More Mountain Bike Videos

Going back to the comfort zone for TEAM ROBOT, here's what everyone knows sucks about that video but no one will say:

1. How to do an easy Brian Lopes imitation: plug your nostrils, take your shirt off, and talk about your training regimen, or anything else that no one cares about. As a bonus, put posters of yourself and the number 55 on literally every surface in your house.

2. I came to a bike website to watch bike videos, but what I really wanted to see was your old washed up overpaid self making espresso for what feels like the entire video. This just in, if I wanted to wait around and impatiently watch someone else making espresso, I could go to any Starbucks.

3. Blopes and Jon Hauer are the same person. And speaking of Blopes and Hauer, there's a special moment shared between the two of them over an awkward, gentle shoulder caress at 4:13.

4. Wow, you really ripped it up going down those hills on your trail bike. It seems like you've really got a knack for it; lots of natural talent. Imagine if you were on a full-on downhill bike. You'd go way faster! And then imagine you're younger, and in your physical prime. Big improvement! Then imagine that you're getting paid to travel to every major downhill race in the world and sponsors are giving you everything necessary to win at those races. You would have the skill and support necessary to be the best downhill racer in the world! Then imagine you quit racing downhill after a year and just rode 4x for the rest of your career and tooled around shirtless on other people's pumptracks.

Racing downhill: highly competitive and mentally difficult. Blopes out of his comfort zone.

Gated racing: just do a bunch of squats and practice gate starts. Still somewhat competitive and mentally challenging. Blopes more in his comfort zone.

Travelling around to people's backyards and using your years of professional experience and training to crush random locals who don't race. Blopes totally in his element.

5. I didn't make that up. That story from #4 happened.

6. TEAM ROBOT does not understand your pathetic request for peace, Blopes. No peace. Never peace.

That Blopes video inspired me to embrace our hating ways, but to be honest, that wasn't the only factor that made me write all this and go back to hating. For one thing I had to write a big long post so that the first words people read when they came to the site weren't "Anal" and "C***." Thanks Patrick.

Don't worry, Team Robot is still in the game.



charlie has lost what was left of his mind. which wasn't much.
Metalica used to rock and Sam Hill used to crush his enemies, things change but not robots they last forever and will never get tired of killing little weak fleshy humans.

To rectify this we are going to make your stupid little ears bleed.
and we are better then you in every way ...... so kill yourselves.

Also, I have been making Charlie and Aaron listen to this stuff for years, poor kids.
Aaron is an eagle scout and Charlie is best buds with Jesus. I am like the worst friend they could ever have.... EVER, sorry guys and also, enjoy.


Saturday, February 25, 2012

Bands better than metalica.


Spice Girls

Ace of Base

Metalica sucks. Lars ulrich is a winney little boner who sells out and plays crap music. Any of the above bands are wayyyyy sicker. I listen to Rhianna in my minivan. I'm cooler than you.

Love Charlie.

My favorite rider

Carlin Dunne.

You're amazing and the head of the not kill list.

I love you, and Ryan Gosling. True story.

He is a hunk. I have a chubb for that piece of ass. Meowwwwww!

Love Charlie.
I love Tila Tequila.

She is the best singer ever. Metal sucks.

I'm bad at bikes. Even Bob Stenson is better than me.

Love, Charlie

PS, PA, will you marry me?

Richie Schley

Lots of people have done bad, halfway tabletops, but we can thank Richie Schley for giving us the official name for that sweet maneuver:

Fun fact: If you type "Schleybletop" into Google Image Search, the VERY FIRST image is the NW's own Pro Racer Kyle Thomas. Actually, the whole first page is Kyle. True story.

At the bottom of the page, you also get this image of Kyle's dad:

By the way, Richie Schley is canadian Brian Lopes:

Monday, February 20, 2012

WARNING! from Team Robot

Race van AND


If you know those guys you know that I'm pretty much reffering to Verg because he's the only one that actually posts anything. Verg is cooler than you.

The van photo below was sent to me by Pro Racer Kyle Thomas. He was well-intentioned, but he clearly misunderstood what vans are all about. See if you can pick out the mistake on this van:

Here's the photo, zoomed in. Again, see if you can pick out the mistake:

Here's it is again, with a slight modification:

But in all seriousness, pedophilia is never a laughing matter.



Friday, February 17, 2012

How to get smarter, then dumber

Read this interview with Danny Hart and you will be smarter:

Read the comments from pinkbike in response to Danny's answers and you'll be dumber:

"Some pretty cocky answers I lost respect for him after reading that. Lets not forget Gwin dominated overall and he wasn't a cocky bastard about it either."

"Sounds a bit douchey don'cha fink bruvas?"

"i like hart but, f*ck............... this is a little to much hype my nig gwin should be getting this interview"

"Still kinda confused because everybody just forgot about Aaron Gwin....."

"I love how all the Americans always come out with "GWIN" comments........ yeah, ok America, we get it. He broke records and won a lot, but he is NOT the world champion. "

More original thinking from the bike industry

The Kill List

From TimZim

"I love and hate Portland intensely. There isn't enough space to post the things I love about it so here's the opposite:"

It's amazing how close to the top of the kill list these guys are.

Remember, if you're not on the DO NOT KILL list, then you are on the KILL LIST.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Your team

Chaz and Transition Racing part ways for 2012

(Every other site is doing the "mystery rider" press release thing, so we wanted to jump on the band wagon, too)

After an awesome season with Transition Bike Co, I am going to be parting ways. It was a great year with ups and downs, with some firsts and some (almost) DFL's. At Team Robot HQ we've got some exciting new things in the works for 2012, but before we go there I just wanted to say thanks to Kevin, Kyle, Lars, Cam n' Sam, Metz, Jill and Bryn and everyone else at Transition that helped make my 2011 better than your 2011.

(Start playing this music before reading any more)

2011 started off on a strong foot with a podium at the first race of the year up at Beacon Hill in Spokane. 3rd place and $150 and I broke even out of the gate. Dinner at Taco Time in Spokanistan to celebrate. Yum?

I finished finals at 4pm on May 4, and at 5pm I was rolling in style with Lars in the Sprinter on my way across the country for my first big multi-week race trip. Game on. I learned more in this one trip than I had in entire seasons prior.

First real stop was at Highland Mountain Bike Park in New Hampshire. Practiced on bone dry dirt, raced in the pouring rain... the story of downwhill.

P.S. that "mountain" was actually pretty fun, but the race course was painful. Uphill rock gardens + pedaling + no entrance speed= not awesome. Jill won this race, and (I think) every other race she entered in the U.S. for the rest of the trip. I didn't win... anything.

The best part of the summer was getting to roll with Lars, Bryn and Jill in the van. Most of the time they just heckled me for what I ate, how I ate, how I rode, how I practiced, my bike setup, my music selection, my choice to run socks w/ sandals, etc. But in between the heckling I learned a lot about racing. It's serious business and the guys at the top have worked their asses off to get there. It was awesome to get to watch and learn from some of the best riders in the world.

One time Bryn even smiled at me. Once.

After the U.S. Open it was off to Germany and then the World Cup in Austria. This was after my qualifying run at Leogang, where I came in 220th or something after crashing my brains out. Twice. Colin Meager took this photo and wrote this, and I quote:

"Reality sets in for Charlie Sponsel; +1:02.79 does not make the big dance"


Back in the USA Transition helped us host a sweet trail jam where jumps were jumped, beer was drunk, and so were the people. Good times:

Back to back wins at Schweitzer and then Port Angeles=sweet. First ever pro win followed nicely with a second win. Kyle Thomas came in second place and wrote some very nice things about me on his blog. I took a different route and decided to hate on everyone I beat, because I'm clearly better than them.

Where do you go to cash a big check? Is there a bigger bank available?

Mo money mo problems.

Not really though, because when you have more money, you're a lot more patient and able to put up with those problems. The rain kind of rolls of your back when you have more money. Anyone who told you money can't buy happiness is an idiot. Especially when you combine money with winning.

Firsts for 2011:

First time driving across the country
First time switching seats at 75mph while driving across the country
First time in NYC
First time in Europe
First World Cup
First pro win
First big Happy Gilmore check

Thanks for the great year Transition!

In other news, here are some sweet pictures of cats that look like Hitler: